if i can run in heels then i can drive
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
