Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
