I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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