i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
