just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
