I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Randomize
