This show inspires me to have sex in space
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
