You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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