Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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