Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
