I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
