its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's blow job season.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
