she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
