People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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