The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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