I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
