I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
