we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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