best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it glows. i had to have it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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