You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
