hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
