Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize