and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
