I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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