He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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