Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
