I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
