Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
