We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
