Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
