You can't motorboat a personality
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
