I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
