My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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