More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize