weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
