I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
