you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
