I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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