I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
