so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
