dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize