why didn't you poke me back
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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