Quick, to the slutcave!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
