Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
