its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
