I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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