I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
