is your mom at the bar?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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