At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
