Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
