Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
