Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
