I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
