I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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