We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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