you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
