We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
