Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
