honey bunches of taint.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
