It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize