Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In other news, I just burned my penis
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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