this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
