That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
