i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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