My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
